Dear H-Town

Dear H-Town,

I just thought I would share a thought and a video. I love technology. I use it in my classroom. I use it clinically. I use it personally. It has made my life easier and at the same time created more chaos. I still have yet to decide if I am better off with or without the swift advancments. However, it is clear to me that as I get older keeping up with it will get harder and harder. I hope I do not wind up like the lady in this video.

Dear H-Town,

Joking is great! Telling jokes, listening to jokes and even sometimes being the butt of a joke. Yet, when does a joke go too far? Is it when it’s crude? Personally, I am not a big fan of comedy that is riddled with foul language, but many people find that funny. Is it when it is demeaning to women? I certainly do not like that comedy, but there is plenty of sexist comedy. How about racist humor? Again, offensive to me, but many comedians do well with it. In fact, if you go to most comedy clubs these days, the acts are filled with plenty of the aforementioned content. There are very few comedians who keep it clean or stay away from offensive content. I can think of Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Cosby and maybe a few more if I really try hard. So, maybe offensive and crude humor is not going too far since there is obviously large audience for it?

I feel strongly that humor is important in our lives. I also think edgy humor has a role at times as it lets us vent through laughter. Comedy allows us to express some of the thoughts we keep hidden and are uncomfortable sharing with others. Often, that is what comedians do. They say the things we would never say out loud. However, at which point should we be careful what we joke about, or is everything free reign under the guise of comedy? Just because it is funny should we be laughing at crude, racist or sexist comedy acts? I say no.

I recently watched a routine (see below) from a ventriloquist comedian, who I find hysterical. At the same time, I find his material offensive. I know it sounds hypocritical, but it is a perfect example of what comedy does. It makes you laugh at content that you would never laugh at if it was said outside the context of “comedy”. Watch the clip and ask yourself, does he not get away with what he says because he uses puppets to say the offensive things? Would he be so successful if he just did it as a stand-up routine? Would the world be a better place if jokes about a suicide bomber didn’t make us laugh, but rather cry? While I love jokes and find edgy and dark comedy very funny, let us make sure we don’t use jokes as a safe way to express hate.

I love to joke around and I try to keep in mind the fine line between what is funny and what is hurtful. Most of the time I stay on the safe side of the joking fence, but I have occasionally tripped over to dark side of jokes that have hurt others. Personally, I usually do not get offended when people make jokes at my expense. I think the world would be a better place if we could all laugh at a few more things. However, racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, prejudice and all forms of ignorance and hate is just that, whether it is funny or not. It does make you a bad person if you laugh at the jokes. However, if more people stopped a friend before they said a hateful joke, not attend a racist comics act or just work on not saying hateful jokes themselves, maybe then we could all laugh together at jokes that unite us and not divide us.

Dear H-Town,

I suppose I should not be surprised, but I had a Sukkot meal with another actress. This one happened to be a little more up the starlet ladder than the last. She had a starring supporting role in The Inside Man with Denzel Washington, a good movie I might add, as well as many other significant acting gigs. She was a very nice human being, Jew and actress.

While many may just read this as cool or meaningless, I look at this as what Sukkot is all about. It is about Jews of all backgrounds getting together to connect with God. I enjoyed Sukkot meals with Yeshiva students, Orthodox Jews, Chassidim, Modern Orthodx Jews, a gay Jew, one non-Jewish actress, one Jewish actress who was not religious, but had a Chassidic uncle, my family, Baalei Teshuva, Jews who were religious and not anymore, some Jews with black hats, others with no hats, open-minded Jews, close-minded ones and some run of the mill ones. That is Sukkot! Every kind of Jew celebrating Gods kindness and love for us while showing respect for each other as well as our non-Jewish guests. I hope to take the lesson of my parents Sukkah into the rest of my year back in H-Town.

Dear H-Town,

Only in an LA sukkah would I have had dinner with an actress that is on two shows tonight. On the first night of Sukkot, in my parents sukkah, I enjoyed the meal with an actress named Rebecca who is on “Kath & Kim” and “ER” tonight. I just saw her part in “Kath & Kim” which was surreal. I don’t think I will stay up for ER. I can’t believe that show is still on. Anyway,  Rebecca was a very nice person and funny. I wish her well.

Dear H-Town,

I just flew southwest airlines with my family and had an amazing experience. It included Southwest air staff going above and beyond to ensure we had a pleasant flight. I will give you the details after my return flight. I am curious if the positive experience was because we flew from H-Town and the crew were all Texans or if it is the airline. The answer will come when we fly back from Los Angeles. I suspect it will not be the same and, once again, southern charm will reign supreme.

Dear H-Town,

It is 4am in H-Town and I can’t sleep. I am not sure if it was the 25 hour spiritual marathon of Yom Kippur that is keeping me up or the double dose of Colombian java I had after not eating for those same 25 hours. Either way, I am up and I thought I would share a thought from Yom Kippur.

Before we began the Yom Kippur prayers one of the Rabbis from the shul, Rabbi Ari Segal, gave over inspirational words. He spoke about how the Houston Jewish community responded swiftly and selflessly to help each other during hurricane Ike. He spoke about how easy it was to assist when there was an “external storm”, but yet when it comes to” internal storms” we are more hesitant. We give such excuses like “they need space” or “I do not want to pry.” However, he made the important point that I think resonated with all. We need our friends and community to come out and help when we have these internal storms much more than when there are external storms. There is no F.E.M.A. for a spiritual disaster.

I think it is great message. Hurricane Ike was the worst storm in almost 25 years, yet we are all fighting off spirtual storm surges daily. May this be a year where we all gather in the streets not to see who needs a generator or a few candles, but to see who needs someone to talk to and a light lit in their hearts and souls.

Dear H-Town,

I decided to host my new blog with wordpress intstead of blogger. So, you will see all my recent previous posts from Dear H-Town posted below. I hope wordpress works out and that you all continue to enjoy. Be well.

Dear H-Town-

While this may be old news to some, it is new to me and I have to say it does not sit well. I am a recent member of the Young Israel of H-Town, which is where this was brought to my attention. The National Council of Young Israel (NCYI) decided about two years ago that they would not allow women and converts to be president of a Young Israel. While I am sensitive to both issues, personally I am bothered by the convert ban as my biological father and my wife are converts. It also bothers me as a Jew who craves a world with more sensitivity and Ahava (love) for fellow Jews and the world around them. However, I am not one to have a visceral reaction, especially when this decision is stated to be based on Halacha (Jewish law). For that reason, I looked into the responsa of Reb Moshe Feinstein (the responsa the ban is based on, which is not clear cut) and plan on looking into the Rambam and Gemmara the responsa is based on. I will keep you posted on what on the surface seems to me to be an insensitive, illogical and anti-Torah ban. Until then, below you will find an excerpt from Yeshiva Universities’ official newspaper “The Commentator.”

“Women and Converts Barred From Presidency

Young Israel officials were not only exercised by the new rabbinic screening policy; the NCYI’s recent decision to bar females and converts from being a Young Israel synagogue president was heavily criticized as well.

Dr. Jay Cinnamon, past president of the Young Israel of Toco Hills, Atlanta, who spoke as a private citizen, said he was “disappointed but not shocked” that the NCYI chose to ban women from holding a synagogue presidency. But he found the ban on converts “repugnant.” He explained that in Atlanta and many other cities, there is “a small but significant number of converts, many of whom are true gerei tezedek and extraordinarily devoted to the community and halacha.” Many of them, he said, are “as pious as any other Jew.” Dr. Cinnamon said that to categorically deny converts synagogue presidencies removes productive members from consideration, and possibly more injurious, sends a “profound and distasteful message” that converts are not fully equal Jews.

Other Young Israel officials shared his sentiments. 58% of Young Israel leaders said that they strongly felt that their president should be male. But 67% strongly believed that a convert should be able to serve as president. In practice, it seems that several Young Israels have had females serving as de facto presidents, though at times they used different titles.

The NCYI gave no defense for their restrictions on synagogue presidential candidates in their memorandum. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, a leading scholar of the last generation, wrote responsa addressing the scope of the prohibition against converts or females serving in a position of coercive authority over other Jews. Medieval scholars dispute whether women can hold such positions, and Rabbi Feinstein decides strictly, mentioning in passing that women shouldn’t be shul presidents. While he also upholds the prohibition on giving converts a position of major authority, he does advocate using maximum possible leniency on this issue to be sensitive to converts, and he explicitly permitted a convert to become a rosh yeshiva. He did not say whether a convert was prohibited from becoming president.”

Dear H-Town-

Below are ten mistakes that turned out to be amazing breakthroughs in medicine to yummy deserts. I suppose the lesson is that mistakes have their place in our lives and sometimes are the only way we can create change. Enjoy!

1. One morning in 1930, Ruth Wakefield ran out of baker’s chocolate. So, she brought home semi-sweet chocolate, broke it into pieces and threw it into the dough. And the very first chocolate chip cookie was born!

2. In 1886 while concocting a form of medicine, John Pemberton accidentally added carbonated water instead of plain water to his recipe. When he tasted it, this new drink was so delicious and refreshing, it was later popularized as Coca-Cola.

3. Centuries ago, a Chinese emperor named Shen Nung was boiling water outside when leaves from a nearby tree fell into the pot. He tasted it, enjoyed it, thus creating the very first cup of tea!

4. At the 1904 World’s Fair, waffle maker Ernest Hamwi noticed a fellow vendor’s booth ran out of dishes to serve ice cream. Just to be helpful, he rolled up one of his waffles into a cone and made an instant hit!

5. One morning, centuries ago, Iroquois Chief Woksis threw his tomahawk into a nearby tree. When he returned the next day, he pulled the tool from the bark only to notice sap furiously dripping onto the ground! If only pancakes had been invented yet…

6. In 1928, Alexander Fleming accidentally left a loaf of bread on his windowsill for too long. When he returned and noticed mold, instead of throwing it away, he reexamined the bread and discovered something called staphylococci. That substance eventually created penicillin!

7. In the 1870’s at a soap factory, a workman went to lunch and left the machine running. When he returned, he noticed that air had been worked into the mixture, thus hardening the soap! He later poured into frames and began selling it by the bar and made Ivory a FORTUNE.

8. In 1905, a young student named Frank Epperson was mixing soda-water powder and water one day. He then accidentally left the mixture on his back porch overnight with the stirring stick still in it, only to return to find the very first Popsicle!

9. Harry Brearly was a metal worker who threw his old scraps into a junk pile. On day in 1913, he noticed that certain old pieces rusted quicker than others. After analyzing the metal, he found the element that helped produce stainless steel!

10. In 1907, Arthur Scott, head of Scott Paper Company, had a shipment of paper returned to him by a customer. They complained it was “too hard and wrinkly,” so instead of throwing it away, he cut it into individual sheets and began selling it as “paper towels.”

Dear H-Town,

Hurricane Ike bit the big one. There wasn’t anything I could initially say that I liked about Ike. However, when the storm subsided and I was in recovery mode, there was some beautiful things that happened to me in Ike’s aftermath.

My family and I left H-Town after the hurricane as we did not have power. We headed to the home of the Alamo and stayed in a couple of local hotels for a few nights. During our stay I experienced a few acts of random kindnesses from complete strangers that truly was bright sunshine after a dark storm. I will list the top three:

The first hotel we stayed out did not allow mine and my brother-in-laws dog to stay in the hotel. They were not going to budge and were going to have us leave (not the act of kindness I am highlighting). The hotels maintenance person offered to have our dogs stay in an air conditioned security shed. He even gave us the keys so we could check on the dogs, feed them, walk them, etc. He did not ask for money and had no reason to do it except to be helpful.

The next day we switched hotels as we needed a bigger room and wanted to go to a dog-friendly hotel. We found a nice hotel a few blocks down that worked for us, but was a bit more expensive. We asked about a AAA discount, which they said they did not offer. However, the manager of the hotel gave us the “corporate” discount, which was a savings of $50 a night. We already booked the room and the manager had no reason to give us the discount as they were full.

After three days away from H-Town we decided to head home as a friend of a friend offered to lend us a generator (another random act of kindness), so I headed to the San Antonio Home Depot to big up some fans. I needed those large industrial fans as anyone who live in Houston understands. The manager who was helping me said that they only had some small fans as they sold all the larger ones to Houston shelters. I said thank you and started putting some of the small ones into my cart when the manager told me to wait a minute. After a few minutes, she returned with two large used fans that she told were the ones they use in the warehouse. She told me it was a cool day and I needed it more. She sold them to me for $20 each which was a quarter of the selling price.

The common theme of the above acts of kindnesses, which were only a highlighted few of many, was that they were all selfless. If Ike had any purpose for me, it was to remember that we are responsible for each other no matter what religion, race, gender, etc and, above that, how beautiful humanity can be. Thank you Ike.